So 15 years ago today, my grandma Jackie died. It was unexpected and heartbreaking for my family. Want to know what I remember most from that day? I finally won bingo in my 3rd grade class after weeks of no success, that peice of doublemint gum was mine!! I was so excited about winning my gum, it was almost not strange that my dad was there to pick us up from school when we normally walked home. I dont remember what my parents said or how i reacted but I remember the gum.
Because I was so young when she died, there are few things that I remember about her. Her perfume was vanilla fields and she always took me to DQ when I would spend the night at her house. She hated birds but loved to sing and walk around the house naked. This always freaked me out because I was apparently the only modest one in my family. I can still remember the sound of her laugh and wish I could hear it again. I know someday I will.
Much to my husbands dismay, I think about dying alot. Not neccessarily me dying but members of my family and how it will affect my life. Geoff has never really lost anyone hes close to, his grandfathers passed when he was very young. There was a stretch there where someone in my family died every year so we have a healthy respect and understanding at the Miller home of how important time is.
It makes me want to be closer to my family, especially now that we have our own special family. I want my parents to be a part of my babies lives for many years to come. I want my children to have more memories of grandma then I do and pray that we have plenty of time to make them :)
I love you Grandma, miss you so much!!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
A frowny face in paradise
I have tried to write whitty blogs for years but generally it ended up being complaints from the drama in my younger days (Im so old now, I know!) I love when people take their random daily thoughts and turn them into an inspirational blog for others to learn from and connect with you about. Lately I have found alot of comfort in realizing others are going through the same things I am, especially when I feel alone alot of the time. Everyone I know and love, aside from my husband, is thousands of miles away and hours ahead of me. I never thought I would miss Omaha but I really do.
I know I'm not the only one to hate living in Hawaii, but I still feel weird saying it outloud! I moved here 7 months ago, a week after my beautiful wedding and there have been alot of ups and downs. Its hard to complain when you are sitting on the beach, reading your book to the soothing sounds of the waves but its a bit easier when you are paying $6 for a gallon of milk and over $4 for a gas!! This was the first year I learned what a tsunami is, frankly the first year I needed to because it was heading right for us!! I love going hiking on the west side of the island, along the coast line, but didnt find much time do to that at first when I was spending an hour to and from work each day because of the ridiculous traffic!!
I miss my friends. I dont know if its just me but it seems harder as I've gotten older to make friends. Maybe its because I'm a midwestern girl and you just dont find that kind of hospitality anywhere else. Maybe Im not trying hard enough because I know we are leaving in a few months for a new duty station and had enough tearful goodbyes the first time. I just feel like I cant connect with people out here they way I did at home and it makes me miss my friends in Omaha that much more.
This blog wont be all complaining though :) I have alot to be thankful for!! My husband and I have spent the past 7 months learning and enjoying the everyday habits of each other. I was very nervous about living with a boy you see, but it has been very fun having our own space to run around in! We just recently found out that we will be moving to San Diego in the fall for our next duty station and will be toting around a 6 1/2 mo pregnant belly!! Christmas is going to be extra special this year!! As I have started to physically transition into a walking, talking incubator I've become more thankful for my own mother. Her scare with colon cancer right when we found out we were pregnant almost seemed like a terrifying trade off. You're getting a child but might lose your mom. How could I raise a child without the guidance and wisdom of my mom?? Praise the Gracious Lord for his many blessings, her cancer was contained and removed quickly with a promising outlook ahead!!!
I am very excited for the months to come and scared for the unknown but know that I am not alone. Even though our friends and family seem far away, their constant support makes it feel like they are just next door, ready to help whenever we need!! Thanks for being there for me!!
I know I'm not the only one to hate living in Hawaii, but I still feel weird saying it outloud! I moved here 7 months ago, a week after my beautiful wedding and there have been alot of ups and downs. Its hard to complain when you are sitting on the beach, reading your book to the soothing sounds of the waves but its a bit easier when you are paying $6 for a gallon of milk and over $4 for a gas!! This was the first year I learned what a tsunami is, frankly the first year I needed to because it was heading right for us!! I love going hiking on the west side of the island, along the coast line, but didnt find much time do to that at first when I was spending an hour to and from work each day because of the ridiculous traffic!!
I miss my friends. I dont know if its just me but it seems harder as I've gotten older to make friends. Maybe its because I'm a midwestern girl and you just dont find that kind of hospitality anywhere else. Maybe Im not trying hard enough because I know we are leaving in a few months for a new duty station and had enough tearful goodbyes the first time. I just feel like I cant connect with people out here they way I did at home and it makes me miss my friends in Omaha that much more.
This blog wont be all complaining though :) I have alot to be thankful for!! My husband and I have spent the past 7 months learning and enjoying the everyday habits of each other. I was very nervous about living with a boy you see, but it has been very fun having our own space to run around in! We just recently found out that we will be moving to San Diego in the fall for our next duty station and will be toting around a 6 1/2 mo pregnant belly!! Christmas is going to be extra special this year!! As I have started to physically transition into a walking, talking incubator I've become more thankful for my own mother. Her scare with colon cancer right when we found out we were pregnant almost seemed like a terrifying trade off. You're getting a child but might lose your mom. How could I raise a child without the guidance and wisdom of my mom?? Praise the Gracious Lord for his many blessings, her cancer was contained and removed quickly with a promising outlook ahead!!!
I am very excited for the months to come and scared for the unknown but know that I am not alone. Even though our friends and family seem far away, their constant support makes it feel like they are just next door, ready to help whenever we need!! Thanks for being there for me!!
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